Tag: minor arcana

Journal Entries

Becoming Boundaried with the Queen of Swords

ApotheCarrie Tarot

Approx. Reading time 3 mins

CW: Please care for yourself and your beautiful nervous system as you do boundary work. It can be very activating, especially when we consider why they need to be put in place and even more so for those of us who are neurodivergent and likely have needs that neurotypical folx can’t relate to. Remember, people do not need to understand your boundaries to respect them.

My loves, this 2023 Chariot year has proven to be much more about “hold on to the reins” than “take control.” Can you relate? It seems that in my life and the life of most people I have had the pleasure of conversation with, it has truly been a test of our tenacity. With this in mind, I have been wanting to speak to a grounding card that has been a helpful touchstone for me: The Queen of Swords.

In my practice, as often as I draw cards for clarity, I call upon specific cards for the same purposes. The Court Cards are wonderful for this–when we need to put on our “adult” costumes and do something scary, when we want to create safety around play, when we are working on the tender reparenting processes, the Court Cards can be there with us and this year none have been called into my awareness more than the Queen of Swords. She is the ally when you need to establish/ strengthen your boundaries, she is the mama bear when you are being mistreated, and she will never let you forget your inherent value. Let’s dig in.

First, in light of a certain celebrity being outed for misusing therapy jargon around boundaries in an attempt to control his partner at the time, let’s talk about what boundaries are not. Boundaries are never a statement of what someone else can or cannot do. Healthy boundaries are a statement of how you will respond to certain behaviours and should help create safety for all involved. As an example, they do not sound like “You can’t do X if you want to be with me.” Healthy boundaries are more like: “I need Y to feel safe in relationships, so if you continue to do X, I will not be able to continue seeing you.” See the difference? There is consent and choice for both people.

Healthy Boundaries: What Exactly Are They?

Healthy boundaries are the emotional and psychological limits we set to protect our well-being and maintain healthy relationships. These boundaries define what is acceptable and unacceptable in our interactions with others. Establishing and maintaining them is essential for maintaining our mental and emotional health. As we heal and learn about ourselves, we begin to peel layers of conditioning away and start to discover what is no longer tolerable for us. Much of this requires work on our part, but it is also valid and important to establish what we need from people in our lives. People who care about you will accommodate reasonable requests and want to be a safe person in your life.

How to call in the Queen of Swords for this work?

The Queen of Swords, a steady individual with a sharp intellect and unwavering resolve, is a powerful archetype that can guide us in the art of creating and maintaining healthy boundaries. This energy can serve as a valuable ally in the journey of setting and upholding boundaries in our lives.

Clarity of Purpose: When you encounter situations where boundaries need to be defined, channel the Queen of Swords’ clarity of thought. Take a step back and assess the situation objectively. What do you need to protect? What are your goals in setting these boundaries? Clearly define your purpose before taking action.

Honesty: The Queen of Swords is a master of truthful communication. When establishing boundaries, be direct and honest with others about your needs and limits. Avoid passive-aggressive behavior or beating around the bush. A direct approach is more likely to be respected and understood.

Self-Sovereignty: Embrace your inner independence. Remember that setting boundaries is an act of self-advocacy. You are not being selfish; you are valuing your well-being. Trust your ability to stand up for yourself and protect what matters to you. For my neurodivergent beauties, please remember that someone who cares about you should not need to relate to your boundary to honour it.

Protection from Toxicity: Just as the Queen of Swords can cut through deception, use your boundaries to shield yourself from toxic influences. Recognize when a relationship or situation is harming you and be willing to sever or limit those ties for the sake of your emotional and mental health. Yes, family included.

Redefine Self-Care: The Queen of Swords knows the importance of self-care. After setting boundaries, take the time to nurture yourself. Engage in activities that feel good to you (they don’t need to look like anything you’ve seen before) and remind you of your inherent worth. Remind yourself that if something is not a “yes” it can be a “no” without guilt. You and your sensitivity are gifts! The world needs more of this medicine, so care deeply and fiercely for yourself and you will create a ripple effect-it often inspires others to do the same.

With love,
Carrie

Image from the Lightseers Tarot by Chris-Anne

Journal Entries

Four of Pentacles and “Resource Guarding.”

ApotheCarrie Tarot

Approx. Reading time 3.41 mins

I know that resource guarding is a term used in dog behavior, but hear me out. In my practice, Pentacles/Coins are all about safety. For some of us that means having a robust savings account to lean on; for others, it is food security, for some people, having a reliable shelter equals safety but today I want to talk about pentacles/coins and our bodies.

For those of us with chronic conditions, neurodivergence, and cognitive challenges, everyday tasks that many people don’t think about can be incredibly draining for us. Some days, just getting out of bed takes everything we have. While some people spend full days in noisy and chaotic environments, for some of us, a few moments in those surroundings can be physically painful. Masking and being aware of every movement and gesture is exhausting and I’ve been thinking about this card from this perspective. I wanted to share a bit about that in case it resonates.

As an autistic person with ADHD, migraines, C-PTSD, and mood disorders, I tend to push way too hard when I have energy, and then completely burn out. For anyone unfamiliar with the term “spoonie,” this refers to folks living with chronic illness and the analogy that they are allocated a certain number of “spoons” each day and tasks such as cooking and laundry spends a certain number of those spoons. When you’re out, you’re out. The urgency of the task doesn’t matter at that point.

So, moving away from the older associations with this card being folx who are miserly or frugal, since Pentacles represent the physical realm, it makes sense that this could be in regards to physical “spending’ if you will.

I wanted to invite conversations around conserving our energetic currency as needed and making space for that not only to be okay but to recognize that this creates safer relationships for the person with the limited capacity and those who care about them. It creates transparency so that the person who struggles can be honest about where they are at, and their companions don’t have to worry that their friend will say “yes” when they don’t want to. What does this look like in practice? For example, I don’t often commit to things very far in advance because I truly don’t know where I will be at from one day to the next. I know that pushing myself to do things when my mind and body are screaming “no” is injurious and I no longer do that. It is frustrating and humbling but at least for now, it is my reality. I do my best to keep my word when I do commit to events but there are times when rest is not optional.

Wherever you struggle and overextend yourself, the medicine in this card is there to remind you that you don’t “owe” your physical currency to others. Much like the “oxygen mask theory,” if we burn ourselves out, we can’t help anyone, even our closest loved ones. Where do you have trouble saying “no” in your life? Are there certain people or situations where you tend to put your needs aside to support them? How might you anticipate and plan to have a more self-advocating approach next time?

Even as a mother, I have learned ways around my zero-spoon days and while I haven’t yet banished the associated guilt, I have accepted that these days will happen. However, I think that the real magick in this card comes from slowing down enough to notice body cues before you hit that wall. For neurodivergent minds, this is often a struggle. We forget to eat, sleep, or drink water, and we just keep chipping away at the neverending to-do list. Suddenly we bonk and it takes time to recover. I recently read that it can be helpful to aim to utilize 50% of your energy for that day rather than spending it all. Maybe, in the Four of Pentacles, we can remember to pause, take a breath, and ask our body what they really need at this moment. It isn’t miserly, it’s resource-guarding for survival. You are amazing.

Sidenote, with this interpretation you can almost imagine theis person on the card doing the somatic self-holding activity which I find incredibly helpful when I am in crisis. This is done (if you are able to) by tucking your right hand in your left armpit and your left hand on the outside of your right bicept and applying as much pressure as feels good. Photo below:

Drawing of a person doing the somatic self-holding exercise. The person has their right arm tucked in their left armpit and their left arm on the outside of their right bicep.

With love,
Carrie

From the Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot illustrated by Pamela Colman Smith.

Journal Entries

Midweek Mindfulness: Page of Coins

ApotheCarrie Tarot

Approx. Reading time 2.45 mins

In this beautiful depiction of the Page of Pentacles, we have the quote: “aut viam inveniam aut faciam” which translates from Latin to English as: ““I shall either find a way or make one.” Such is the spirit of this Page.

Pages embody youthful energy and provide a rich way to work with our inner children. The Page of Pentacles is endlessly curious in a grounded way. They want to know how things work and whether there is a better way forward.

In working with the energy of the Page of Pentacles/Coins, we might take some time to look at things as though it were the first time we are seeing them! Imagine the wonder and amazement at all of the moving parts of today’s innovations! We may use our kitchen mixer every day but do we ever stop to think about all of the steps that were taken to create this efficient machine?

As young ones, we often pose the question “why” after almost everything adults say. It comes from this inquisitiveness that is often discouraged by frazzled adults who may not know the answers. So, in time we stop asking, and with that, we stop wondering. What would it feel like to lean back into that level of curiosity? If you have a young one in your house, you might choose a day to answer every time they ask “why” or “how?” If you are not sharing your space with a little, this invitation is for you to pause and consider some of the things you do and imagine explaining them to a young person, or even someone from another planet. It sounds silly, but this can be such a fun activity. If you are someone who wears makeup, imagine explaining each step and what each product does. When you put a meal together, what makes you choose certain ingredients? If you have an animal companion in your home, what would it be like to explain their characteristics and adaptations to someone who had never seen one?

The idea is to spend some time noticing where you take things for granted. It is an activity that has the potential to create new ways of thinking and can even strengthen the connections in your brain. It is also a way to bring some gratitude into your day in a natural and authentic way.

Take a moment to look around you right now. Imagine you have just been dropped into this room, at this moment, and everything is brand new. What questions would you have? What items do not make sense without prior knowledge?

We can take this curiosity with us when we engage with people. Curiosity helps us to come from a place of non-judgment and helps reduce conflict. Instead of making assumptions about someone, we might ask questions. For instance, when someone makes a statement that is in direct contrast to our own belief systems, maybe it is something that they have not thought much about. By asking questions, not only do we make our interactions softer, we may just encourage folks to examine truths that cause harm to others. In this way, the Page of Pentacles can be a deeply transformational energy to invite in! Is the way forward the best for us, or shall we create a new way?

With love,
Carrie

From the Antique Anatomy Tarot by Claire Goodchild

Journal Entries

Midweek Mindfulness: Six of Cups.

ApotheCarrie Tarot

TW: Non-specific references to childhood trauma.

In tarot, sixes always have the potential to invite harmony in our lives where there may have been dissonance. They bring a gentle return to hope and can bring a sense of warmth and gratitude. The Six of Cups is a bit tricky as it is associated with our past, and experiences of nostalgia. For those of us with trauma attached to our past, even the sweetest memories can be barbed.

In our healing work, if it feels safe, we can try separating our beloved memories from the ones that upset us when we return to them.  An example that came up from my own life is one of my sister and I lying on our backs looking up at the falling snow and imagining the snowflakes were stars which made us feel like we were shooting through space. I remember the pure joy and giddiness that I felt while doing this. For many years, this, or any thoughts of my youth were accompanied by a wash of adrenaline and nervous system responses. I am slowly getting to a place where I can hold both realities at once. It sounds something like this: “This is such a beautiful memory, and it is okay to acknowledge that this was not the entirety of my experience. I am still holding my inner little one close and making sure she knows that I’ve got her now, and these memories can be explored securely. Even my favourite stories might bring up painful thoughts but I am safe now.” Find wording that feels good to you and little you.

Six of Cups can inspire work with our inner little ones to see if we can invite in some joy from a small part of our past and allow ourselves to expand into this place while gently holding the idea that this is a process. It can be done in our own time. We can explore the difference between the gentle sting of nostalgia and the unpleasant body sensations with traumatic recollections. It is also one of the most powerful ways to release the hold that our abusers have on us. In this way, we can slowly rewrite our story so that we get to decide which parts we return to rather than being hijacked by upsetting memories.

You are so incredibly special and valuable,

Love,
Carrie

From The Crow Tarot by @crowtarotmjcullinane

Journal Entries, Tarot

Mid-Week Mindfulness: The High Priestess

ApotheCarrie Tarot
Image: La Papesse from the Sacred Sisterhood Tarot by Ashawnee Dubarry and Coni Curi featuring an individual with dark skin, with a head wrap topped with a crescent moon in a bowl of water. They are holding the Tora across their chest in their right hand . Two columns are on either side of them and there is fabric with golden pomegranates behind them.

That question you have been wrestling with-you already know the answer.

We often turn to others for clarification, and that can be a vital step in our journey, but what would it look like to fully trust your inner knowing? Tarot is such a valuable tool for self-inquiry as the cards serve as a metaphorical “third party” but they will always reflect the truth that we hold inside. No card does this better than the High Priestess.

This card serves as a reminder that while our truth can become muddled and can have layers of doubt laid upon it, it is there for us when we are ready. The powers that hunch over our society would shrivel and collapse if they were faced with a populous that was steadfastly self-assured and did not allow campaigns of fear and scarcity affect our every decision. There is a large investment in keeping us in a state of self-doubt. This is important to remember when we are facing situations that require us to really listen to that quiet voice of intuition. We all have one! Even folx who don’t consider themselves to be intuitive hold the same vital information that all of us do-they just need practice.
To work with High Priestess energy is to work with our most intimate capacity for self-trust. For many of us, who had our relationship-to self-fragmented as children through trauma and unmet needs, this can feel startling, overwhelming, and even dangerous. This is where the High Priestess holds us close and allows us to unfold within a container of safety. They remind us consistently, but gently, that we hold the key to everything we are meant for in this life. We hold the answers, the guidance, and the map.

Some of the ways we can connect with this inner knowing is through meditation, pathworking, silence, writing, sleeping (dreaming), and most of all listening. Our brain chemistry tends to yell over everything else, and learning to honour the work our brain does to keep us alive while inviting in the quiet messages that our subconscious has for us is where the medicine lies. There is no wrong way to do this-only the way that works best for you.

Every time we come home to ourselves when we have stayed from our convictions, every time we say “no” to something that doesn’t serve us, and every time we remember that we are the best source of our truth, we embody High Priestess energy. We never lose this gift-they are with us every step of the way. All we have to do is listen.


Until our paths cross again,

Carrie






Journal Entries, Tarot

Mid-Week Mindfulness: Eight of Wands

ApotheCarrie Tarot

I am so grateful for Jeremy Hush’s reimagining of this card. Traditionally, this card is all about creative vision, swiftness, progress, and energy. That is all wonderful…except if you want this card to serve as a waypost. How often do you face the day with a feeling of rocket-fueled inspiration? If so, that is amazing! It is not, however, a common human experience. With each one of the 78 cards, I make it my priority to ensure that all card meanings are universally helpful and serve everyone. So while this idea of being swept away in creative bliss sounds wonderful, it is only one way of experiencing this energy, which brings me back to my gratitude for this particular art.

The individual in this image does not seem remotely concerned with urgency. In fact, they are quite peaceful in repose as nature moves on around them. No doubt there is probably motion of all kinds surrounding them, but it is not changing their experience or their pace.

The suit of Wands is fire-based and while it does have to do with what we are most passionate about, what would that look like without the capitalist indoctrination? Can we deeply care about what we are putting out in the world, while still recognizing that we do not have the capacity to designate energy to it right now? Of course! Pushing through when we know we are at our limit in an attempt to stay relevant, or even in our purest desire to help is unnatural and will inevitably lead to a miserable crash. Our unique medicine is special because it is finite. We are allowed to allocate it how and when works for us and this will fluctuate over time as it should. Healers and deep-feelers often have to learn this the hard way, so use this card as an invitation to look at the offerings you put into the world and assess if you are doing this in a resourced, or a frantic manner. Your gifts and love for your life’s work will not shrink with rest-but they will dull with overexertion.


Until our paths cross again,

Carrie






Journal Entries, Tarot

Mid-Week Mindfulness: Seven of Cups

ApotheCarrie Tarot

Daydreaming is something that we often “unlearn” in adulthood. We are taught to “keep our feet on the ground” and often give up on our aspirations. While there is some truth in being realistic while pursuing our goals, there is rich medicine in allowing our minds to wander to “what ifs.”

This card invites us to imagine a different life, a different career, or a different way of being in the world, but also advises us to look closely at what we are aspiring to. If you notice, in this traditional Rider-Waite Smith card seen here, some of the images in the cups are translucent. This can reflect the “grass is greener” mentality we are all vulnerable to, especially when we are envisioning change. As we allow ourselves to sip from the outside of the limits we, and likely society, have placed on ourselves, we must also check in with our inner knowing before making abrupt change. If there are things in our lives that are not working, is that because of the situation, or have we been disinterested and apathetic? There is no wrong answer here-simply observation.

The Cups represent our emotional realm, and one that is particularly vulnerable to the repercussions of stagnation. I invite you to indulge in the luxurious, limitless, and exciting possibilities that you can bring to mind, and imagine embodying these new personas or lifestyles. How can you welcome some of these practices into your life without completely overturning everything? Are there introductory classes to something you have always wanted to learn? Could you use a change of scenery with your partner? Is there a new way of cooking that you have always been curious about? This is your nudge.

Until our paths cross again,

Carrie






Tarot

Two of Cups

ApotheCarrie Tarot

Page of Wands (1)

Please note that this series of interpretations is intended to assist specifically in personal healing and shadow work. I am not a mental health professional; these are my personal reflections and experiences that I hope you will find helpful.

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

Traditionally, this card is read as a coming together of two people in a new, loving relationship. This eliminates a large part of our wonderful population so let’s explore a slightly different angle. While this card can be about an equal, compatible partnership, it has more to do with the overall theme of “coming together.”

In tarot, twos often point to decisions and duality. Because we are in the realm of emotions with the Cups, this card often comes up when someone is having trouble holding space for two or more parts of themselves.

12644951_10153749695945935_4116842080432364353_nAs we go through life, we often branch off in many directions, sometimes nudging parts of ourselves away. This can be a positive thing, but it can also lead to a sense of instability. It brings me back to the idea of “This AND that are true.” Meaning, the more we open ourselves to loving all polarities that exist within us, the more balanced and self-loving we become. 

There is also a gentle vulnerability in the Two of Cups. An offering of the cup that holds all of your precious secrets, fears, shame, and hopes. With uncertain hands, we hold this out to someone. Such a beautiful gesture, and a courageous one.

For those who are seeking partnership, this can be a vital step in attracting someone that will provide a more supportive and rich relationship. It is almost as if we send out signals that we are unwilling to settle for anyone who won’t appreciate our unique gifts the way we do. 

For those not seeking a partnership, this could mean both a deepening of self-appreciation or potentially a new friendship, or experiencing a new level of closeness with an existing friend. That goes for individuals currently in a partnership as well. 

I invite you to spend some time looking at all of the “hats” you wear in life. Using myself as an example, I am a homeschool mom so that is my “teaching” hat, I’m also a mother, a partner, a daughter, a sister, a friend and a tarot instructor. There are times where being a homeschool mom does not play well with being a mother so it can be difficult to appreciate both of those things at the same time. Out of these “hats” the most challenging one would be associated with my family of origin. This is something I am continually working on due to a necessary separation from them. 

What are the “hats” you wear? How about masks? Many of us have masks that we must wear to fit in under certain circumstances. Some of those are necessary, but are there any masks that might be shed? In order to love all parts of ourselves, including parts that we hide away, we must be willing to look inward with curiosity and love, and without judgement.

We think the fire eats the wood. We are wrong. The wood reaches out to the flame. The fire licks at what the wood harbors, and the wood gives itself away to that intimacy, the manner in which we and the world meet each new day.”
― Jack Gilbert

“To say “I love you” one must know first how to say the “I”.”
― Ayn Rand

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Ace of Cups

ApotheCarrie Tarot

TarotCups1

Please note that this series of interpretations is intended to assist specifically in personal healing and shadow work. I am not a mental health professional; these are my personal reflections and experiences that I hope you will find helpful.

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

Here, we enter the realm of the Cups which represent our emotions, intuition, and relationships.

Screenshot 2021-01-15 132526With the Ace of Cups, we are being offered a new beginning in the form of a rush of feelings, excitement, and/or intuition. While traditionally this card is associated with new relationships, considering many folks are not looking, it is helpful to widen our approach to this card. In this way, the idea of a rush of new feelings can be applied to friendships, events, and realizations. This energy may come through as the experience of something the seeker has not felt before. 

This Ace is an awakening of sorts. Sometimes it manifests as a deepening of feelings for a certain person or a rich deepening of your intuition.  

How would you describe the feeling of the Ace of Cups? Where does it manifest in your physical body? This might be a fun intuitive painting, sketch, or free-write. Can you recall a time when something inside of you awakened? Do you think there might be ways to invite Ace of Cups energy in when things are stagnant? Perhaps you could journal about these thoughts and the idea that we can, at any time, summon the energy of a tarot card as a guide and an ally.

“Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.”
― Ramana Maharshi

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”
― Helen Keller

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

King of Wands

ApotheCarrie Tarot

page-of-wands-3

Please note that this series of interpretations is intended to assist specifically in personal healing and shadow work. I am not a mental health professional; these are my personal reflections and experiences that I hope you will find helpful.

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

The King of Wands is a powerful combination of fire (Kings) and fire (Wands). This King is passionate, creative, confident, and highly driven. When this card comes up in a reading, it can suggest that the seeker is being invited to trust in their abilities and mastery in their area of interest. This is not the time for self-doubt.

LightSeers-14-King-of-Wands-Tarot-Meaning
The Light Seer’s Tarot did a beautiful job of illustrating a more youthful King of Wands.

The King of Wands is someone who is incredibly passionate, ethical, and capable of igniting fires of inspiration wherever they go. Despite their inherent power, there is a restlessness about this energy and there can be a tendency to want to move on as soon as things become tedious or repetitive. This King has a nearly limitless supply of energy but this can cause them to ignore the physical constraints of their body which can lead to burnout if they are not careful.

Freedom is deeply important to this King and without it, they can become hot-tempered and experience control issues. However, if given the room to fully express their abundant nature and passions, this frank and friendly King will be the warmest, most magnetic person whose spark is a pleasure to be around.

I invite you to consider what lights this fire inside of you? Perhaps you could make a list of the causes that are closest to your heart. Social activism is a wonderful way to experience King of Wands energy. Is there a way you can become involved? It may also be helpful to think about figures who exude this kind of energy. Who in life has inspired you to become part of necessary change? How can you embody this courage and inspire others?

“Mother Dear, one day I’m going to turn this world upside down.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Love is an expression of power. We can use it to transform our world.”

― Ericka Huggins

Until our paths cross again…