witch – ApotheCarrie Tarot

Two of Cups

February 26, 2021 ApotheCarrie Tarot

Please note that this series of interpretations is intended to assist specifically in personal healing and shadow work. I am not a mental health professional; these are my personal reflections and experiences that I hope you will find helpful.

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

Traditionally, this card is read as a coming together of two people in a new, loving relationship. This eliminates a large part of our wonderful population so let’s explore a slightly different angle. While this card can be about an equal, compatible partnership, it has more to do with the overall theme of “coming together.”

In tarot, twos often point to decisions and duality. Because we are in the realm of emotions with the Cups, this card often comes up when someone is having trouble holding space for two or more parts of themselves.

As we go through life, we often branch off in many directions, sometimes nudging parts of ourselves away. This can be a positive thing, but it can also lead to a sense of instability. It brings me back to the idea of “This AND that are true.” Meaning, the more we open ourselves to loving all polarities that exist within us, the more balanced and self-loving we become.

There is also a gentle vulnerability in the Two of Cups. An offering of the cup that holds all of your precious secrets, fears, shame, and hopes. With uncertain hands, we hold this out to someone. Such a beautiful gesture, and a courageous one.

For those who are seeking partnership, this can be a vital step in attracting someone that will provide a more supportive and rich relationship. It is almost as if we send out signals that we are unwilling to settle for anyone who won’t appreciate our unique gifts the way we do.

For those not seeking a partnership, this could mean both a deepening of self-appreciation or potentially a new friendship, or experiencing a new level of closeness with an existing friend. That goes for individuals currently in a partnership as well.

I invite you to spend some time looking at all of the “hats” you wear in life. Using myself as an example, I am a homeschool mom so that is my “teaching” hat, I’m also a mother, a partner, a daughter, a sister, a friend and a tarot instructor. There are times where being a homeschool mom does not play well with being a mother so it can be difficult to appreciate both of those things at the same time. Out of these “hats” the most challenging one would be associated with my family of origin. This is something I am continually working on due to a necessary separation from them.

What are the “hats” you wear? How about masks? Many of us have masks that we must wear to fit in under certain circumstances. Some of those are necessary, but are there any masks that might be shed? In order to love all parts of ourselves, including parts that we hide away, we must be willing to look inward with curiosity and love, and without judgement.

We think the fire eats the wood. We are wrong. The wood reaches out to the flame. The fire licks at what the wood harbors, and the wood gives itself away to that intimacy, the manner in which we and the world meet each new day.”
― Jack Gilbert

“To say “I love you” one must know first how to say the “I”.”
― Ayn Rand

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Ace of Cups

January 15, 2021 ApotheCarrie Tarot

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

Here, we enter the realm of the Cups which represent our emotions, intuition, and relationships.

With the Ace of Cups, we are being offered a new beginning in the form of a rush of feelings, excitement, and/or intuition. While traditionally this card is associated with new relationships, considering many folks are not looking, it is helpful to widen our approach to this card. In this way, the idea of a rush of new feelings can be applied to friendships, events, and realizations. This energy may come through as the experience of something the seeker has not felt before.

This Ace is an awakening of sorts. Sometimes it manifests as a deepening of feelings for a certain person or a rich deepening of your intuition.

How would you describe the feeling of the Ace of Cups? Where does it manifest in your physical body? This might be a fun intuitive painting, sketch, or free-write. Can you recall a time when something inside of you awakened? Do you think there might be ways to invite Ace of Cups energy in when things are stagnant? Perhaps you could journal about these thoughts and the idea that we can, at any time, summon the energy of a tarot card as a guide and an ally.

“Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.”
― Ramana Maharshi

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”
― Helen Keller

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Notes on Shadow Work

December 4, 2020May 16, 2022 ApotheCarrie Tarot

What is Shadow Work?

The term “Shadow Work” gets thrown around a lot these days but often without an explanation. Perhaps it is because the process itself can look vastly different from one person to the next. The intent behind shadow work (sometimes referred to as underworld descent) is to uncover internal parts of ourselves that have been consciously or unconsciously repressed for any number of reasons. Essentially, our shadow is comprised of our blind spots: things we can’t see about ourselves. These often pop up in the form of triggers and/or very strong reactions to other people or situations.

Throughout our lives, we learn to repress parts of ourselves that society may deem inappropriate. Often, we do this to better fit in with family and our peers. This is important as our survival has historically relied upon our integration with our community. However, this stifling of our expression can lead to unwanted thoughts and behaviors, and over time can become quite destructive. It is in recognizing how these shadows affect our interactions and narratives that we begin to lessen our burden and gain emotional maturity.

Shadow work stems from the teachings of psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung. This work seeks to address the “negative” or “unflattering” impulses and aspects of our personality and learn how they came about. Often this can include jealousy, greed, rage, and sometimes unwelcome or troublesome desires. One of the more benign examples is if we were told as a child to be “seen and not heard,” the idea of public speaking as an adult can be paralyzing. Most of our shadows are born in childhood. As children, our capacity for joy, creativity, and curiosity are celebrated yet this is only part of our experiences in youth. We also experience anger, envy, and greed. Even expressing ourselves as silly or vocal in school was often met with negativity. These traits are experienced throughout our lifetimes, but it is in suppressing them as a child that they begin to take on a new shape. This reinforcement of reward for “good” behaviours and punishment for “bad” behaviours in childhood begins to take on the news shape: our shadow selves.

As we work to accept and love all parts of ourselves, including those aspects that are contrary, we become further integrated human beings. Over time, we find that we are less sensitive to the behavior and comments of other people. This work is vital and a life-long journey.

If you would like to find out how I mix shadow work and tarot, I invite you to my course, Embracing the Shadows.

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

King of Wands

June 5, 2020 ApotheCarrie Tarot

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

The King of Wands is a powerful combination of fire (Kings) and fire (Wands). This King is passionate, creative, confident, and highly driven. When this card comes up in a reading, it can suggest that the seeker is being invited to trust in their abilities and mastery in their area of interest. This is not the time for self-doubt.

LightSeers-14-King-of-Wands-Tarot-Meaning — The Light Seer’s Tarot did a beautiful job of illustrating a more youthful King of Wands.

The King of Wands is someone who is incredibly passionate, ethical, and capable of igniting fires of inspiration wherever they go. Despite their inherent power, there is a restlessness about this energy and there can be a tendency to want to move on as soon as things become tedious or repetitive. This King has a nearly limitless supply of energy but this can cause them to ignore the physical constraints of their body which can lead to burnout if they are not careful.

Freedom is deeply important to this King and without it, they can become hot-tempered and experience control issues. However, if given the room to fully express their abundant nature and passions, this frank and friendly King will be the warmest, most magnetic person whose spark is a pleasure to be around.

I invite you to consider what lights this fire inside of you? Perhaps you could make a list of the causes that are closest to your heart. Social activism is a wonderful way to experience King of Wands energy. Is there a way you can become involved? It may also be helpful to think about figures who exude this kind of energy. Who in life has inspired you to become part of necessary change? How can you embody this courage and inspire others?

“Mother Dear, one day I’m going to turn this world upside down.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Love is an expression of power. We can use it to transform our world.”

― Ericka Huggins

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Queen of Wands

April 29, 2020May 7, 2020 ApotheCarrie Tarot

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

With the Queen of Wands we get the intriguing blend of fire (Wands), and water (Queens). The energy in this card burns hot but flows like cool water. This Queen is not likely to go unnoticed. She holds the key to bringing polar opposites together magically and exudes this effortlessly. This may remind you of people you have met who just radiate sexuality and seem to be a magnet while their external features are not those traditionally admired. There is just something so special about them. This reminds us that we all have the birthright to feel sexy, powerful, and radiant regardless of our physical appearance (which is ever-changing). This Queen embodies creative and productive energy.

It is worth noting a few things in the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith card (left). First, this is the only Queen who sits in a wide-legged position, suggesting assertiveness and strong sexuality. Second, this card is often referred to as the “Witch of the Queens” in tarot which suggests that the black cat may be her familiar. There is such a magical quality to this energy. Perhaps this is due to the alchemy required to bring fire and water together in such a harmonious way. It is as though this person can silently insist that the two elemets play nice.

It is interesting to consider that apparently Pamela Colman Smith, who illustrated this deck, was instructed to draw a different animal for this card but chose a black cat instead. This black cat has become an iconic topic of discussion in tarot communities. What does it bring to mind for you?

With all of this in mind, I invite you to explore when and where you feel empowered and sensual. I ask that you do your best to shelf shame and guilt while you ease into this. How do you experience your inner magic? How can you tap into your personal power? Is there a way to spend more time exploring this space?

This can also be a great time to look at where you are allowing your boundaries to be taken for granted or disrespected. Everyone has a right to their own boundaries. If you find that you are constantly defending them to someone, it may be time to take a break from that relationship until they can honour what you have established for your own safety. You do not have to answer to or apologize for your personal sense of power (assuming no harm is being done). You will find that as you strengthen your boundaries, your relationships will become more mutually fulfilling.

“I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be.”

-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

“I will have my voice: Indian, Spanish, white. I will have my serpent’s tongue—my woman’s voice, my sexual voice, my poet’s voice. I will overcome the tradition of silence.”
—Gloria E. Anzaldúa

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Knight of Wands

March 3, 2020 ApotheCarrie Tarot

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

There are few characters in the tarot who burn brighter than the Knight of Wands. This energy is a combination of fire (Wands) and air (Knights) and we know what happens when we mix those two elements: combustion! This may represent someone with an assertive and action-oriented nature.

The Knight of Wands can be very theatrical and may live to entertain. In discussing this personality, Lindsay Mack associates performers such as Prince, David Bowie, and Madonna which are all wonderful examples of this energy.

The flip side may be a tendency to be hasty and run headlong into battles without too much thought. Someone with this energy may also be prone to hyperbole and recognized for their large, erratic gestures.

The Knights are all about movement and the way we take action in the world. This Knight asks us to look at where we enjoy the spotlight. When do we feel our fiery energy flowing and notice our posture changing to an upright, self-assured silhouette? If it is social justice, you may feel this spark when you are contributing to a cause that is close to your heart. If you have neglected an art form that lights you up, this knight insists that you make time and space for that. If it is performing where you shine the brightest, try to get involved in theatre or your activity of choice. If nothing comes to mind, this knight may nudge you to try new things to find something that ignites you (pssst, this could also be sex).

The Knight of Wands invites you to take up space and occupy the attention you deserve. You have the capacity within you to delight, so tap into your own unique gifts and unleash them!

“Occasionally we encounter a person whose personality is so effusive that they take over a room. They may not be the type of person everyone wants to resemble, but we enjoy watching them, and their presence uplifts us. An extrovert craves other people noticing and acknowledging their presence, they can never receive too much attention.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster

“What I like my music to do is awaken the ghosts inside of me. Not the demons, you understand, but the ghosts.”

–David Bowie

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Page of Wands

February 13, 2020 ApotheCarrie Tarot

Please see my thoughts on age, race, and gender in tarot.

When was the last time you fingerpainted without worrying about results or the mess? The Page of Wands (Daughter of Wands in The Wild Unknown) invites you to tap into childlike play and wonder. This Page is the ultimate spark of inspiration and creativity. If you have ever suffered from writer’s block, the Page of Wands is that glorious moment when you are suddenly inspired and fly through another chapter. If you have been feeling apathetic lately, you can be sure that this card will usher in a time of rejuvenation.

The Page of Wands asks us to call in our inner child and embody that untarnished view of the world. In this suit, which is fire-based, it can be re-igniting a passion project that has been on the sidelines, or following an inspired idea to see where it may end up!

This Page reflects the story of the Four Healing Salves:

In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions.

When did you stop dancing?

When did you stop singing?

When did you stop being enchanted by stories?

When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?

Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves.

Often, this Page is associated with swift good news and may represent an optimistic, playful, warm person in your life. In its shadow aspect, this can represent someone who is passionate but reckless and does not pause before they act. This can often be associated with a lack of ego exploration or overall immaturity.

Because of the nature of this card, I would like to invite you to create the Page of Wands as you imagine them using paint, collage, creative writing, or your medium of choice. Imagine you are fleshing out a character for a film and consider doing a character sketch of this person. Introduce yourself to the Page of Wands as you have created them.

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
― Richard Lingard

“To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.”
― Osho

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Why I am not Afraid of Tarot…

February 9, 2020 ApotheCarrie Tarot

…and You Shouldn’t be Either.

I recognize that suggesting what you should or should not be afraid of might sound arrogant–please hear me out.

I receive a range of reactions when I mention that I am a professional tarot card reader. Generally, people are interested and curious but I do meet folks who immediately put their hands up and shake their head saying that they “don’t want to know what is coming.” In some belief systems, the tarot is even thought of as a tool of the devil. Yikes!

The unfortunate part is that there are readers out there who will aim to create a dramatic and sometimes fearful response from their clients. Some people have experienced this first-hand, and others have heard their horror stories. Recently, I have had people share similar experiences of a tarot reader turning over a card, gasping and refusing to continue the reading! I call bullshit on that noise! Perpetuating fear is a disgrace to the practice and the reason that many people do not wish to explore the tarot. This is unfortunate, as they miss the opportunity to discover what a powerful self-development tool it can be!

While there are as many different reading styles as there are tarot readers, I align myself with those who use the cards for personal exploration such as discovering blind spots we may have and recognizing aspects of ourselves that need healing. Tarot is a great tool for getting out of a rut and setting intentions. It is a beautiful self-care process: I have had clients tell me that after a reading with me they felt like they had left a therapy session. The magic is what they do with the meaning I share with them! While I always offer the narrative I see in the cards, often the reading will unlock something vital within my clients. It is deeply rewarding to see this happen. The cards do have the power to lay out a path for us but we can choose whether or not it is a good fit for us at this time.

The magic that happens in a tarot reading is beyond my full comprehension. Somehow, even with a one-card reading, the message gets to each person at the right time.

Here is a very brief description of what a standard tarot deck consists of:

There are 78 cards in total: 56 of these are known as the Minor Arcana which are numbered much like playing cards. These are the cards that describe the mundane but influential scenarios we encounter regularly. They include the Aces to Tens in each of the four suits, as well as the court cards which are made up of four personalities: often Pages, Knights, Queens, and Kings. The suits consist of Wands, Swords, Cups, and Pentacles. There are a number of variations to this depending on the theme of the deck. There are also 22 cards that represent the larger events in our lives, such as weddings, new homes, separation, and existential challenges. These are referred to as the Major Arcana.

All 78 tarot cards represent stages of our journey, both inner and outer, throughout our time on earth. All of these archetypes and events are woven together into a story that can help us mediate challenges and manage obstacles. When laying out a spread, where each card shows up is as important as the card itself. This is why there are endless possibilities with tarot and no two readings are ever the same.

The artwork on some decks can be dramatic and without explanation by a learned professional, could be quite startling. I will give a few examples of how you can look at the more challenging cards:

Death:

This might be the most feared card of all and yet it is one of the most necessary aspects of life. Letting things go that no longer serve us allows for fresh growth and new beginnings. Imagine the forest floor in Autumn; all of the fallen leaves begin to decay and provide rich, fertile nutrients for those buds we all eagerly anticipate. Death needn’t be associated with fear but celebrated for the new life it provides for.

The Tower:

While the Tower indicates sudden and unexpected change, it only breaks down structures in our life that were not built soundly to begin with. It will remove illusions we may have and leave us with a strong foundation to rebuild our next chapter. I often use the example of how your companions deal with you when you are in crisis. There are those who become ghosts and those who make you tea and hold space for you. This is the energy of The Tower. Again, how you cope with change is the larger component to address, rather than the change itself.

The Devil:

The Devil represents lower-vibrational behaviors and unhealthy attachments. Often this card calls us out on behaviors that we indulge in when our “cups are empty” or we have not been taking care of ourselves. It can indicate addiction, toxic relationships, gossip or any other behaviors that do not serve our higher good. We all fall into negative patterns, so having The Devil pop up to call us out on this is a good thing!

If you are someone who enjoys visual cues that bring a narrative to life, tarot might be a wonderful tool for you to explore! It can be used for journaling and writing prompts, problem-solving, personal development, meditation practice, and so much more! If you are willing to approach this dynamic system with an open mind, you will likely fall in love as I did over 20 years ago. Then, the real problem comes in: how to limit spending on new decks!

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Ten of Wands

November 30, 2019November 30, 2019 ApotheCarrie Tarot

Please note that this series of interpretations is intended to assist specifically in personal healing and shadow work. There are many incredible websites that offer traditional meanings and correspondences. I am not a mental health professional; these are my personal reflections and experiences that I hope you will find helpful.

Finally, after all of the struggles and battles, it is time to look around at what you have created. YOU did this! This is not to say that success comes without a new share of responsibilities, but you have weathered the struggles and are now ready to delegate.

Often this card is associated with “burden.” It makes sense as we often see a figure either carrying or trying to lift ten wands on their back, sometimes uphill. However, the great cardslinger Tom Benjamin offered a positive, and potentially more helpful association with this card which was: “anything worth doing costs, is worth spending energy on.” When we think about passion projects that we have worked hard on, even the times when we are spread so thin we barely have time to eat, there is a sense of satisfaction there. While we are certainly feeling the weight of responsibility, this comes from creating something that really means something to us. It could be compared to someone who has started and grown a successful non-profit. This takes incredible dedication and stamina, yet you will be hard-pressed to find someone in this realm who doesn’t love the work they are doing.

What is important now is to ensure you aren’t taking on unnecessary burdens. If you have the opportunity to delegate the aspects of the project that do not excite you, do it. If someone asks for your help and you can’t extend yourself any further without experiencing burnout, learn kind ways to decline. Make sure that you are making the best use of your energetic resources in order to continue doing this great work.

Saying “no” is something that many of us struggle with, so with this card, I invite you to practice saying “no” in ways that feel comfortable to you. Remember that being a people-pleaser is a trauma response. By all means help when you can but when you are already feeling overextended, learn how to “give good no.”

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
― Randy Pausch

“When you start living the life of your dreams, there will always be obstacles, doubters, mistakes and setbacks along the way. But with hard work, perseverance and self-belief there is no limit to what you can achieve.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Until our paths cross again…

Tarot

Nine of Wands

November 21, 2019 ApotheCarrie Tarot

The Nine of Wands comes along just when you thought the coast was clear. In the Eight of Wands, you let your guard down for a moment to enjoy the ride and along comes the Nine to interrupt you. This card is here to test your courage and resilience and take a final swing at you. The card is often depicted as a battle-weary individual with an expression of doubt and resignation. In The Wild Unknown (pictured above) we see a staircase littered with wands reminding us how steep stairs can feel when you are exhausted. This is the final challenge before the culmination of your creative efforts and the passion you have invested in this area of your life.

This card asks you to dig deep and find that last reserve of energy and stamina in order to make it to the finish line. Tap into your primal side and let loose with one last battle cry! If you can find your way over this last seemingly staggering hurdle, your endurance and persistence will pay off. This is a great time to make your boundaries clear to those who test them.

What does the word “courage” represent to you? Do you recall a time when you were about to give up but were able to find hidden strength you didn’t know you had? I invite you to do a free-write about how it felt to discover that you had more fight in you than you realized. Often this is where deep and lasting growth occurs.

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
― Louise Erdrich

“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”
― Jane Austen

Until our paths cross again…